THE EARTH IS AN EGG LAID BY A GIANT SPACE BIRD

QUAKES ARE CAUSED BY THE CHICK HATCHING

by Sam Ewing

Our earth, like all planets, is actually an egg laid by a giant space bird. A chick inside is eventually going to hatch, destroying all forms of life in the world. So says the Birdist Society, a secret cult of fanatics.

They say that, billions of years ago, feathered, flying bipeds of enormous size deposited eggs throughout the universe to hatch at a future date. According to them, living creatures on the earth - human beings, animals, birds, fish and insects - are much like bacteria.

Birdists claim that a mammoth chick is enclosed in our spinning globe. When about to be hatched the chick starts to pierce the shell. The vibration of the earth's crusted layer, caused by the sudden motions, which we call quakes, are said by Birdists to be the fetus coming to life in its first stages of trying to break out. In time, they say, it will smash through with repeated blows.

To prove his beliefs, the modern Birdist points out that the earth is not round, but egg-shaped as shown in photographs taken from outer space. The Birdist Society, worshipers of all flying things, is internationally organized. It dates back thousands of years to an age long before the birth of Christianity and other religions. The strange cult does not solicit converts. Its beliefs are continued from generation to generation, kept entirely in the family of zealots. Swift punishment is dealt any cultist who fails to make generous offerings to the Society or who fails to comply with all the ceremonial rules of worship.

The leader of the cult is San, "the wise one", a title passed down through thousands of generations, much like a succession of kings. Most of these Birdist leaders have been men - and occasionally women - of powerful charismatic personality who act as a magnetic force to hold and keep their fanatic congregation intact. San promises an after life, through worship of winged creatures.

Aside from the regular offerings to San - made sometimes monthly, sometimes weekly - major Birdist festivals are held at least twice a year in areas where birds are prevalent. A four-footed beast is slaughtered and a portion of meat given to each participant while San or one of his disciples prays for cult prosperity, fertility and longevity. For drink, silver goblets of red wine are poured for each Birdist, regardless of age. The climax of the gathering is a ceremony with dancing, singing and a chorus of praise to San as the living representative of ancestors that date back to the beginning.

To leave the secret society means death. Yet not long ago two young Iranian cultists - male and female lovers in their early twenties - revealed the age-old Birdist secrets. They told their fantastic story to astonished Middle Eastern officials and a French journalist. They said Birdist cults can be found in the Santa Cruz and San Gabriel mountains of California, in the Louisiana Bayou country, in mountainous and seaside regions of Mexico, South America, France, Libya, Turkey, and a number of other countries. Cultists could well number a million people worldwide, according to the couple. On the same day that the French newsman relayed the information verbally to his editorial sources, he became a hit-and-run casualty. Several days later the Birdist couple disappeared without a trace.

So, what if the Birdist Society belief is correct? Perhaps mankind should show more respect to robins, sparrows, crows, hawks, canaries and all other feathered creatures that inhabit our supposed "egg shell".