Army Fun
Occupational songs
You seldom hear songs like "HE WAS ONLY A CONFEDERATE
SOLDIER, BUT HE WORE A UNION SUIT" anymore. songwriters should concentrate
more on realistic-type tunes like that instead of rehashing stuff about the moon
and the month of June. Occupational Music is what we need.
Barbers could be saluted tunefully: "NOBODY KNOWS THE STUBBLE I'VE SEEN."
A song for tax collectors could be a smash on the jukeboxes: "OH, GIVE ME
SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY."
Bone therapists would enjoy music especially for them: "DON'T FALL FOR THAT
CHIROPRACTOR, MABLE; HE'S ONLY PULLING YOUR LEG."
Landlords surely should come in for their fair share of rhapsodic glory, too:
"I DON'T WANT TO SET THE WORLD ON FIRE, I JUST WANT SOME HEAT IN MY ROOM."
For the department store Santa Claus: "HIS STOCKINGS WERE HUNG BY THE CHIMNEY
WITH CARE; HE'D WORN THEM FOR MONTHS AND THEY NEEDED THE AIR."
For the mailmen of America: I CAN'T EXPRESS MY FEELINGS, SO I'M SENDING THEM PARCEL
POST."
For undertakers everywhere: "PLEASE DON'T DIG ME, DADDY, 'TIL I'M REAL GONE."
Return to Article Menu