Doleful Data - Archaeologist keep digging in the earth hoping to find a
civilization worse than ours. (date unknown)
Candid Comment - The only places you can park as long as you want to, you
don't want to. (date unknown)
Batteries Included - the electric car is coming, and there's no need for
cash. Just say, "Charge it." (date unknown)
Digestive Fact - Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and
the family has to eat them. (12/18/91)
Combat Complications - Warfare between the sexes.
The battle between the sexes will go on forever; there's just too much fraternizing
with the enemy. (1/17/92)
Simple Arithmetic - Sound advice can offten be 99 percent sound and one
percent advice. (3/3/93)
Deception - The average woman likes a strong silent man because she thinks
he's listening. (3/3/93)
Too Much to Ask - The Constitution guarantees free speech. It doessn't
guarantee listeners. (3/3/93)
Candid comment - In government, a "highly placed source" is the
person who started the rumor. (3/3/93)
Security Glitch - Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house
dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant
longer to get out than a burglar to get in. (8/31/95)
Deadbeats - Our Culture is changing. Nowadays we not only have unlisted
telephone numbers, but, sad to say, lots of kinds have unlisted fathers. (9/1/95)
Nation of Sheep? - As an average citizen you don't know what you think
until the poll takers tell you. (4/10/96)
Safety First - These days you have to move quickly when opportunity knocks.
By the time you turn off the alarm system, take off the guard chain, and unlock
the dead bolt, opportunity may be long gone. (4/17/96)
Colorful Observation - The neighbor's grass may be greener, but their water
bills are higher too. (4/17/96)
Pap Fiction - Sooner or later most famous people write an alibiography.
(7/3/96)
Times Change - Virtue may be its own reward, but most people are looking
for a better deal. (7/16/96)
Not a Pretty Precedent - President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to
the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it. (7/23/96)
Mood Swing - We used to call it "grouchy". Now it's an attitude".
(8/5/96)
Literately Speaking - Why are books for children in large print when their
eyes are 20-20, and in small print for grown-ups? (9/96)
Candid Comment - Lots of people can't count to 10. They are usually the
ones in front of you of you in the supermarket express lane. (11/29/96)
Words for the Wise - Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the
boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it. (12/4/96)
Truth Capsule - The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a
good idea to turn off the sound. (?/14/97)
No Kidding - Reading the book before seeing the movie usually makes it
more difficult to guess the ending. (1/23/97)
Dubious Distinction - Any child in America can grow up to be President.
It's one of the risks that kids face. (2/12/97)
Status Symbol - Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone
Directory. (4/11/97)
Case Closed - When the meek inherit the earth, lawyers will be there to
work out the deal. (5/22/97)
Nitty Gritty - There are many books on how to make a million. There should
be more on how to make a living. (6/4/97)
Famous Last Words - There are three stages to any celebrity's career. "Who
is he?; "There he is!"; and, "Is he still alive?". (6/5/97)
Candid Comment - Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage
and a career. (6/5/97)
Dream On - Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
(4/29/98)
It takes a lot of luggage to get away from it all.(5/99)
All men are born equal - the goal is to outgrow it.(5/99)
Do you realize that they show movies these days that couldn't even get developed
a few years ago?(4/22/99)
Future Shock -. Space science is making great headway. Now we're only a
few hundred years behind comic books. (6/18/99)
